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COME BACK OFTEN TO FIND OUT WHAT THE BUZZ IS ALL ABOUT......
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THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
We Must Stop This Immediately!
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier . And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to
discover how long our
street had become!
And, you know, people
are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep
repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face!
What
do they think I am, a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand,
people my own age are so much older than
I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't
even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning,
and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are
not made the way they used to be!
Another thing,
everyone drives so fast these
days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say
is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech
and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers
are less civilized these
days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices?
The people who make bathroom scales are
pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I
would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone
company is in on the conspiracy too. They've printed the phone
books in such small type that no one could ever
find a number in there!
All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are
smaller than they once were.
The Cowboy Boots
(Anyone who has ever
dressed a child will love this one!)
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her
kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?
He asked for help
and she could see why.
Even with her pulling and him pushing,
the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're
on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was
putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.
He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?' like she wanted
to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots
off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My mom made me wear 'em.'
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle
the boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked,
'Now, where are your mittens?'
He said, 'I stuffed
'em in the toes of my boots.'
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