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COME BACK OFTEN TO FIND OUT WHAT THE BUZZ IS ALL ABOUT......
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 Things to further ponder,, I guess....
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care
where a three-year-old was resisting a
rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right
now.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
The short fortune teller who
escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did
a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead
batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle
can't stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in linoleum blown
apart.
He broke into song because
he couldn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead
to know basis.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count
that votes.
If
you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll
show you A-flat miner.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto
an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local
Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you've seen one shopping centre,
you've seen 'em mall.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
Santa's helpers
are subordinate clauses.
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
And might I add....
It is better to have loved a short woman than never to
have loved a tall.
Ponderisms
I used to
eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding,
the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground
easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take
life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about
seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird
and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box
to start a campfire?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why doesn't
glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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